Cowagunga!

Neglect

We are here in New Zealand now and clearly for the past 2 and a bit weeks I have completely neglected this blog. I know you all think that the inevitable has happened and this is the end of it, but I am here to tell you that as of now, this phoenix is rising from the flames. There's a good reason anyway that I've been so lax, the last 2 weeks of South America have been so busy, and most of it may I add, in low tech jungle, there just hasn't been time. I'm going to attempt to catch up now, so here's what happened in Ecuador...

Colca Canyon

We were picked up the day of the trip at 7.30am, which is a lie in to be honest, by our guide in a minibus. He had a name which I cant pronounce, but I do know the driver was called Hugo. It would take about 3 hours to get to the nearest town to the canyon, Chivay, where we would be staying for the night before going to the condor viewing bit of the canyon the following day. We picked up two more travellers on the way, a couple, she was from Belgium and he was from Peru, Puno to be precise, more about them later. Our guide was a strange bloke, looked more like an artist than a guide, curly hair, very small square glasses, seldom smiled, never without his scarf. Didn't talk much to begin with, but improved as we went on. He had to say everything twice, once in English, for our ignorant tongues, and once in Spanish for the bloke from Peru. I get so sick of foreign words being spoken over my head, constantly trying to figure out if he is telling them more than he is telling us, the suspicion can drive you mad. The road to Chivay was pretty treacherous, we scaled up and up mountain roads, apparently over the highest point that the road goes over in Peru at over 5000 meters (bloody high). At points we had no choice but to overtake some HGV's that were crippled to a snail pace due to the climb, nothing like a game of Russian roulette as Hugo did this around blind corners, to warm the cockles. At one point we passed a coach that was off the side of the road, on its roof! Looked like it had happened a day or two ago so we kept moving. We were soon at the peak where we stopped to take some pictures of some Bambi like creatures, Lou loved them, they literally all looked like Bambi, all blinking and stuff, couldn't get that close though, they must of heard what humans did to their famous brother. After this we stopped at a random little place where we could have some tea and a sandwich. We sat with our little travelling buddies and got to know them a bit better. Turned out that she is a translator who can speak five languages (I'll call her Tranny), always wore a bandana making her look bald, had her sleeves in everything all the time, asked far too many questions and was just one of the most irritating people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He seemed fine though, he couldn't speak a word of English, was 4 foot tall with a face that, apart from the colour, was the spit of Murphy aka Robocop. He had the odd mortifying attempt at spitting out some English, but upon failing remained relatively quiet. After a lot longer driving we arrived at a sanctuary like hotel where everyone was staying, apart from us, where we would have some lunch before continuing to the hot springs near Chivay. This place was beautiful, in the middle of no-where, the views around the place were lush green, and there were hammocks outside where you could totally relax, which we both loved. As soon as we sat down to lunch the Tranny started being irritating again, turning square on to face me, asking me things and then telling me that she's done it already, and advising me what I can do or what I should have done. frightening. After what seemed like days, the Artist and Hugo turned up, and that was when the Peruvian boyfriend really came into his own. He didn't shut up. I can not believe that somebody can talk so much. Obviously apart from us pair, the 4 others could speak Spanish, and he really seemed to take a shine to the guide. He went on and on and on, no one else spoke, not a word, just him, he had a load of food in front of him, and took a tiny bite every 10 minutes, it was ridiculous. I'd finished my starter, main and pudding whilst he was still on the starter, whittering on. I made signs to Lou that we should make for the hammocks, but she was keen to show good manners and remain until everyone had finished. I tried to keep busy, going off to make a cup of tea, or faking the need for the toilet, just so I could be away from the table. After much much longer, I could see that Lou had had enough too, so announced that we were going outside to relax. At that point our relationship with Tranny and the Imp was over.

After dinner we went to the hot springs which were absolutely beautiful. It was less natural in design, more of a complex of outdoor swimming pools, 5 in total, 3 for anyone, 2 that were for locals only. The source of all the water however, was a natural hot spring so you can imagine how nice they were, right between the mountains, so relaxing. After this we were taken to our hotel, which was equally beautiful and much nearer to the town centre than the other place, meaning that we would be able to go out for dinner.When we ventured out it was raining so we went to the first place we came across. A spicy pizza and omelette later and we were in the Irish bar opposite. Amazing where you can find Irish bars these days. The pub was small, with a snooker table in the middle occupying most of the space (set up to play pool) and visitors graffiti all, and I mean all, over the walls, ceiling, lamp shades, tables, and bar. We had a good time in there, Lou nailed off a fair few G&T's and we had a game of pool, which took forever as the balls were almost too big for the pockets.

The following day we were picked up by the circus, and driven up a very bumpy road to the condor viewing point of Colca Canyon. We stopped quite a few times to admire the breath taking views over the valleys, and took some good pics. It turned out that this was a good idea because once we got above the canyon itself, it was full of cloud. There were loads of tourists there, all looking out for the illusive sacred birds. One guy there kept banging on about seeing 3 or 4 earlier on. I think if he's stayed too long he would have been sacrificed off the side of the canyon by a very eager bunch of Canadians, to see if it improved our condor viewing chances. We stayed an hour or maybe two, and although very nice, it was fruitless in terms of the sacred bird. A little disappointed we started our drive back down the mountain. We stopped once at the side of the road to enjoy another view, and then carried on. We then starting coming to a halt again, and to be honest we felt as though we had got the picture now and didn't necessarily need to take another picture of the same valley. Then out of no-where, the most beautiful site, an enormous bird flew from below us, over our heads, the condors had arrived. We were very lucky in the end, we must have seen five of them soaring around us, such amazing creatures, they have a wing span of around 3 meters and to see them swooping around us was absolutely incredible, we took photos and videos and as there were a few people there on the same bank, we shared it with a few people, it was just amazing. Fair play to the artist, if he hadn't kept making us stop, we would never have seen them. x

Puno - Titicaca

We arrived in Puno after a 10 hour bus journey, 10 hours is just too long to spend on a bus.We did stop about 4  times to see different sites, such as views over mountains and some historical churches, to be honest my stomach was doing back flips, so all I wanted to do was sleep. We stopped halfway for a buffet lunch, I didn't feel like eating or socialising, so just watched as a couple of Peruvian blokes came out to play some music to us. One was on the drum, notice no plural, and the other one I think was playing the guitar, they were horrendous, they had to have been tone death with no sense of rhythm, a real disaster. It was a little bit embarrassing at the end when they came round with their CD's trying to flog em, we gave them a few sols just to leave us alone. Although I didn't eat anything, well apart from a lovely slice of melon, Lou enjoyed the food, but not as much as this Chinese girl in front of us, they must be starving them over there, I've never seen anyone eat so much. She even took about 6 slices of melon, just before I took my one, I thought she was going to have the lot, fat pig.

The hotel in Puno was a pleasant surprise, we were met by someone from the floating islands tour that we had booked for the next day, called Mary, so she could tell us what was happening the following the day, her English wasn't good enough. I was feeling pretty rank so we got a takeaway pizza of plasticine and chips and went to bed. One thing about Puno at night is that its very noisy, if they aren't having a festival, they are practising for one, and they were actually practising for their biggest one which was due to begin just a few days later.

The following day we were picked up early doors and taken to a boat on Lake Titicaca which was to take us to see the floating islands of Uros. It took about an hour to get there, its amazing how big the lake is, its more like a sea. The floating islands of Uros are basically islands made of reed that loads of people live on rather than live on land, dont know how they do it to be honest, but they all seem happy enough. They have really gone the full hog with their reed town, they've got schools, hospitals, cafe's and even a post office, the only different is you have to get a boat everywhere and no one wears shoes, cuz its always wet. It stinks a bit too. Very interesting stuff. After the floating islands we went to a real island called Taquile, as soon as we arrived we had to go up a very steep hill of steps, which at well over 4000 meters, is hard work. All the way up there were kids selling bits and bobs and trying to see if you would like a picture with them, which would end with you giving them a Sol for the trouble. I started handing out biros to them, as I've heard that they might like this sort of, hard to come by thing. Turns out it went down well, I got myself a couple of little fans, so thanks Mark for that one. On the island of Tequile all the men knit. yep knit. They've been knitting since they were around 4 years old, and by the time they are adults they can knit with five, very fine needles at once, putting any granny in Britain to shame. When they get married they have to knit loads of stuff, including their brides wedding dress, ha can you imagine, 'sorry lads cant come for a pint, need to crack on with me knitting.' Anyway they love it, and i bought a hat which was knitted by a bloke called Simon. When you buy stuff in the shop there, everything has a number on it, from 1 to about 250, you check your number against the chart on the wall, and it tells you which coca chewing knitting man made your item. We had some lunch at the top of the hill and started heading down the other side of the island where the boat was going to pick us up. Now as you know I had a dodgy tummy, following the trout for lunch I needed a number two. They guide told us there were 500 steps for us to go down till we get to the boat, it felt like five thousand. The steps were making things worse and worse, I stopped talking all together,  due to concentration, I resorted to asking the little Spanish children where I could go, the answer was there was a Banos at the bottom of the hill. Skipping down the hill I finally made it, to be greeted by 10 year old girl who wanted 1 Sol for usage, fair enough, sold. What I couldn't believe was that the place had no plumbing, that poor little girl was poised with a bucket of water ready to wash away your business once it was done. I was so embarrassed, as I left I gave her a hand full of money to apologise, and hoped to God that we would never have to cross paths again.

The boat ride back to land was great, I slept for the full 2.5 hours, I do know that it was very sunny and nice, and Lou enjoyed it very much, sitting on the roof of the boat with some Americans and a couple of brits, chatting away about travelling and all the good places in the world, a good day had by all x

Machu Pichu

Hi everyone, sorry for the delay with the updates, turns out Salmonella Soup was actually made from salmonella i've had 4 days of hell. Anyway thanks to the liberal way in which Peruvians sell antibiotics over the counter, a quick google diagnosis, and £3.50 later i'm feeling right as rain. Speaking of rain....

We were met by the guide David, (remember your french accent) , at 6.30am to go and get the bus to Machu Picchu.  Poor old Lou was feeling a bit ill, and it was raining, We rushed around getting ready and I scrambled out to grab some rank sandwiches (cheese and ham cobs) off some old woman with too much skin, ate a quick bit of breakfast (more cheese and ham cobs) and we headed for the bus. The bus ride was pretty scary at the time, since then I have numbed to this type of bus journey, but I remember at the time not talking much at all, and watching the road very carefully as the driver swung the thing round these tiny bends as we climbed round the side of the mountain. Every now and then another bus or vehicle would be coming down the mountain, following the same zig zagging road, in the opposite direction. At one point this happened and there wasn't enough room, so our driver started REVERSING down the dirt track, single file, non gated mountain road. After 3 years of driving we arrived at Machu Picchu. You dont just jump off the bus and "there it is," although that would have been cool, first of all you queue up to go through the gate, almost directly outside a 5star hotel called The Sanctuary. Apparently its $1000 per night, I had a look through the window and upon spotting the multicoloured seat covers in the restaurant (sort of roadchef -esque) so I reckon that's steep. Once at the gate you have to show your ticket with your passport, bloody good job Lou was on the ball, I wouldn't have taken that, and they let you in. Machu Pichu is a work of genius, how the hell the Incas managed to build this place is just beyond comprehension, in the middle of all these mountains. In actual fact they don't know what the ancient city is called, but the mountain opposite is called Machu Picchu, so the site itself has now borrowed the name. Our guide was great, although we thought he was going to be mute to begin with, he was just waiting to swing into action, which once he did he was excellent, we also had him to ourselves so it was a private tour. We walked around examining all the different structures, learning all about them, taking loads of photos it was really very interesting and beautiful. The only complaint at the time was that the rain seemed to not want to stop. We were well prepared for this though, earlier that morning I was offered to buy a poncho from a street seller for 2 sols (25p) offended at the price I declined, in the knowledge that we had packed along our very own rainy day clobber. Lou's weapon, a red rain proof jacket,solid, reliable, provided courtesy of her well travelled sister Caz (thanks Caz x), and myself carrying an old faithful Regatta rain coat last worn Glastonbury 2007. My mood throughout DaBid's tour diminished quickly, smiles became forced, photos  rushed, the old faithful had failed, I was soaked through.
Once the tour was done we got our passports stamped with the Machu Picchu logo, which looks ace, and went to eat our sarnies and have a cuppa. It was about 11am by now so still pretty early, I started to cheer up a bit, and a good thing too as Lou wanted more. There is a point in the mountains before Machu Picchu which, if you do the Inca Trail, you arrive at to catch the first view of ancient city as the sun shines on it, before descending down, called 'the Sun Gate.' and it was Lou's idea that we should go up there. We started on the journey up the steps and to be honest I think it was much further than both of is thought. They were rocky steps that climbed all the way up the side of the mountain, the good news was that at this point the rain had gone and it was turning out to be a really nice day. Its high up so the altitude gets you, but we kept trudging on, every time we passed some one we asked 'how long' and they said 'twenty minutes.' Three times this happened. After just over an hour we got there, there were some clouds over the city but after a while they cleared and we took some really good pictures. In fact we took loads, Lou went happy clicking crazy and didn't stop till we go back down to the bottom, I don't blame her though x

The Sacred Valley

Another early start we got picked up by the bus at 8.15am ready for an overnight trip to go and check out machu picchu and the sacred valley. The first stop on the bus was a town called Pisaq which is in the valleys between the mountains. Unbelievable views, the bus absolutely flies round the tiny corners, as we mentioned this the Australian guy on the bus told us how just a couple of days before he had seen a really bad crash. He told us the front of the bus was destroyed with bodies lying everywhere, latest tip therefore is to sit at the back of the bus (nice one mate!) Once at the town centre there was a market which we had time to look around, Lou finally bought an Alpaca cardigan which she is very pleased about. At the same market we found a restaurant that had its own brood of guinea pigs in a little house, they seemed happy enough, roaming free, getting fattened up, ready for the oven.

We had a buffet lunch at a lovely Hacienda in the country side, and then carried on to a town called Ollantaytambo. Another nice town, this one had Inca ruins at the centre which we climbed in order to see unfinished Inca works, amazing how they constructed their buildings out of massive rocks without any machines. It was really interesting, the problem was that there were like 200 steps and we both ate absolutely loads at the buffet, including a couple of beers, it was hard work to begin with. This older couple that were on  our tour really started panicking about the heights, was quite funny as the woman was crying but the man was no better, he totally left her and was stuck to the wall, the woman was helped down by the guide. funny stuff.

After this we were dropped off back in the town to wait for the train, leaving us with over 2 hours to kill. We hooked up with two American guys (California) and a Brazilian girl and went for a few drinks. One of the local drinks is called Pisco Sour, which we all drank and chatted. The blokes were paramedics in the military and had been out in Iraq. We stayed with them until we all caught the train to Aguas Calientes.

The train journey was forever long and there weren't any views as it was already dark, dont get me wrong it was a nice train, they even gave us a snack of dried fried banana (rubbish) however there were moths in there to terrorise us. The biggest one of the lot landed right in front of Lou! I was hoping the foreign bloke opposite would deal with it, but no he sat there scared to death (it was massive) Lou acted quickly and cupped the beast, launching it out the window, saving us all, I would have dealt with it of course, but was too busy making notes.

We had a tot in Agues Calientes with the yanks again, and some very crap food, the hostel was ok, there is a massive raging river next to it with potential to swell and kill us at any point. We survived.

Getting to Cusco and the place so far..

The flight to Cusco was a joke, I was convinced that we were going to die!

The plane was nice, like a proper jet and everything, but there wasn't many people on it, which is always a little worrying, the flight however was horrific! loads of turbulence, and then, when you start flying over the Andes, and you realise that they're going to land the thing in the mountains, it all gets a little bit silly, to me it looked like we were flying directly into the mountain then next thing you know it banks like crazy and we some how manage to land, Lou was pretty cool though out, my palms were sweating! I shook the captains hand on the way out to thank him for keeping me alive.

The first day was fine, we both seem to have dodged altitude sickness, which is good news. The weather here is difficult to suss as one minute its raining, the next minute its boiling hot sunshine, the next its really cold, as I write this I am sitting here glowing like a lobster with a light bulb up its bum. Lou's burnt her arms but her face has got away with it, my face is really red, look like a right muppet.

We took it easy on the first night so today we've had a really full day (Monday). We've been to the indoor market, which was a real eye opener. There were all sorts of animals heads and feet scattered around on counters, but also lots of lovely cheese and bread and fruit and stuff. We had a laugh trying to film all the rotting donkey snouts without the sellers catching us. I went off the rails slightly by sitting down with the locals to have some chicken / salmonella soup with noodles, to be honest it was nice. Lou and I have been advised by freddy our land lord that there is a drink called chicha which is worth a go, unfortunately the woman selling it in the market looked like she had been dug up, Lou was very quick to spur me on to having a glass of this red delicacy so I did, I took one sip from the grotty glass and ditched it, to be honest I'm not even sure I will survive from that amount. Lou took a video of the moment laughing her head off.

Following the market we have taken a tour of all different Inca sights which has been really good, we've also planned out the next parts of our stay in Peru, I will tell you more another time, for now we need to go out and get some dinner.

If you leave a comment on any of these, make sure you state your name, as we don't know who you are otherwise.  T&L x